Today I want to write a little about the retreat I am doing. As mentioned, I am in Thailand. The town is called Pai and quite close to the border to Myanmar in the north.
It was not a conscious decision, I am not able to do those at the moment. I had several options and made a draw. So, here I am.
The retreat is called Nam Yang Kungfu Retreat, which was founded by Master Iain Armstrong. Kung fu? Do I know martial arts? No, not at all. What got my attention was that they teach meditation and Qigong. I really want to learn meditation in order to calm (my mind) down and, as crazy as it sounds, to connect with my higher consciousness (or soul). I am also glad that I am doing Qigong and not Yoga as in the other options I had. I did Yoga a bit while working in Munich and I found the postures difficult to achieve. As against to having had a great experience with Qigong during my rehab in 2011. And I am happy to say that it is the same this time around. But let me tell you a bit about the timetable.
The alarm clock sounds each day at 5:30am but usually I won’t get out of bed until quarter to six. Why so early? Because classes start at 6am already. I know, though deal! We meet at the main training area under the night sky. First, we start with a Qigong form that is called Zhonghua Tong Ling Qigong. It consists of 11 movements, which are meant to energize the body with good Chi and release the bad one. It took me a while to remember the sequence but I think I got it now:
In the video I am performing each step once…in reality they have to be carried out 7 times. (BTW, odd numbers are lucky numbers in China, even ones not, with the exception of 8).
While doing them the sun comes up and depending on the air pollution is a bloody red balloon in the sky. Brilliant!
After that we perform a walking meditation for about 5 minutes. The steps are not rocket science but you have to move your whole body and everything has to be on the right spot. I find this part very relaxing as my complete focus (aka mind) is on doing the walk correctly. This is what now is called mindfulness and it is another form of meditation. A short demonstration:
Next comes the so called Shuang Yang Pei Ho Rou Rouan Chien, short Shuang Yang, which translates to “Sun frost white crane soft and gentle art”. No worries, I have troubles with the names myself. On the website it says “It is performed in a very soft, relaxed way, gently opening the Chi flow in the meridians, training elasticity into all of the tendons and massaging the internal organs. Whilst superficially very similar to Tai Chi, it is part of the Buddhist Shaolin tradition, rather than the Taoist Wutan tradition.”. So, this is Shaolin Kung fu! It consists of 66 postures and I know probably 20 by now. So, you can imagine how long it takes to learn them, let alone master. I would say, in my words, that they are another form of meditation based on martial art movements that are supposed to be good for the whole you (body, mind and spirit).
Typically for Chinese they have some utterly brilliant names. There is for example “The hungry tiger grasping a goat” or “The golden cockerel standing on one leg” or “Parting the grass to find the snake”. You can’t accuse the Chinese for being unimaginative. 😀
Every day I learn a new move and then have to practice it quite permanently in order to remember it. Here a demonstration of my status last week:
If you want to see the real deal, here is Master Iain performing it:
When the bell rings at 8am we are having our first tea break of the day. It’s the time where the students gather around the master and are able to ask questions. Master Iain will answer them in a quiet but powerful tone. He comes along as a very calm person but with a strong presence. I think he has found his passion and practice it since decades. I guess he is a good bit ahead on the path to enlightenment.
Afterwards, depending on the program, we have e.g. meditations, learn about Chi or do Kung fu lessons. Last week I was in the life balance program, which is more focused on meditation and Qigong. I liked it a lot. However, I changed for this week to the internal Kung fu, which also has meditation and Qigong but a bit more Kung fu in it. I have to see if I like it. At least, I am giving it a try. For the real deal there is a Shaolin Warrior program. I pass 😉
Have you read something about breakfast? Not yet! That is only happening at 9:15am and you can imagine that my stomach is already grumbling hours before that. I wouldn’t necessarily call it breakfast either. We have rice, some vegatebles and fruits and I rather consider it as early lunch. BTW, there is no lunch provided and mostly I skip it. I rather have some fruits. I LOVE mangos!
Since this week I have intensive course at 10am. I think it’s to intensive for me. 😉 Right after breakfast/lunch it’s a bit too much for my stomach and I really enjoyed the free time I had last week at that time. But mostly I will cancel it since it is too martial arts for my taste. On Tuesday we were training leg kicks and I won’t kid myself that I will do anything with this after I leave the retreat. So, I don’t see the point. I really got aggressive being the sparring partner while the other kicked into the pad I was holding. I was thinking “hit me one more time fucker and I hit you with the pad”. I really took it personal. I know, I am strange.
From 11am until 1:15pm we have the midday classes that usually start with stretching. Mostly I have to laugh during that one. I am just not flexible at all, while the instructors make leg splits.
Best is the long midday break until 3:30pm. I head into town and go to my favorite shop to have a juice (mango, banana, bring it on…), read (a lot) and do some small shopping (well, the mangos need to be replaced).
At the next session at 3:30pm I often start with a headache. It is usual very hot (around 37 degrees Celsius) and we do warm-ups. WTF! Followed by more stretching, like I haven’t had enough yet. Then we go over to different aspects of Kung fu or meditation.
Finally, at 6pm the classes end with the dinner. The food is unfortunately not that diverse. It is good but quite repetitive. A little bit too much rice for my taste. That’s why on the free days (Wednesdays and Saturdays) I head into town and have a good breakfast with eggs. After dinner almost everybody immediately goes to his/her room and that was it for the evening. I am no exception. By 8:30pm latest I was falling asleep the first week. This week I seem to have adapt a bit more and thus fall asleep much later, which is unfortunate for the next morning.
There are some interesting people here…or at least not the “normal” crowd. We have a 75 year old fellow, a tantra sexual coach, a cancer survivor, an actress from Jordan/Palestinia, a movie producer. The list goes on and on. Several people stay many months here or even a year. I guess it is a good way to re-focus and additionally do something for body, mind and spirit. Well, that is the reason I am here, isn’t it? I don’t know how long I’ll be staying here. I rather see it as a stepping stone to the next level (whatever that is). I want to dive more into meditation and Qigong. My plan is to go to a monastery close by and submerge myself to meditation.
Honestly, sometimes I catch myself thinking “What the fuck am I doing here?”, “if I wouldn’t have fucked up in the past I wouldn’t need that shit”, “this is supposed to help me?”, “what am I going to do once I get back to the real world?”. Those thoughts don’t get me any further so I drop them as soon as possible. I try to have faith (and patience) that I will know when the time is right. And also that I will be happy again and life will bring good things. The success rate is not where I would like it to have. But, work in process or as it’s said in Spanish: poco a poco.
Love,
Matthias