The end

The traveling has come  to an end.

At least for this European tour. Was it like I expected or hoped for? Not at all. It was rather an inside journey than the exciting destinations I always long for. It has been very interesting however but not with certain answers…yet.

I spent a couple of days more in South Tyrol and did some more bike riding. I actually visited the hotel I could have been a guide 8 years ago, just to find out that the owner wasn’t there that day. Too bad.

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A highlight was the tandem paragliding I did in the Dolomites. The scenery is already stunning and with a certain anxiety it is even more intense 😉 It was a fantastic feeling flying through the air and I am proud of myself beating my vertigo.

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Then I went on to Austria into the Zillertal. But I stayed there only for one day and one ride. Somehow it had the feeling I am just avoiding to go back…home? I won’t call it that way. Back to where I grew up and maybe still have unfinished business. It is familiar but not home (yet). Although, I enjoy meeting with dear people more often than this has been possible in the past. It gives me a feeling of belonging.

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These last 4 weeks are more like an acclimatization period. At times I think that I would like to live here again and start doing what is necessary (finding a home, job etc.) and at other times I am frustrated that I still have no clue of what to do next and nothing is happening.

Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying the now as much as possible but I feel an unrest beneath it. Picture a calm sea surface with strong currents beneath. That’s me 🙂 When it comes to the surface it is anger…

I also discovered a tendency (well, I discovered a lot these days hahaha), that due to not knowing what to do I fall back into dreaming about traveling, since this was the last dream I am aware of. I did that in the past as well. But I know that it won’t bring the happiness anymore. So, I keep on going forward and try to trust that good things are coming.

However, I am very allergic at the moment to questions like “So, what are your plans now?”. I would like to scream “I have no FUCKING idea and leave me the hell alone with that shit. Plans don’t work out, so no more plans”. I don’t 😉

Another question I receive frequently and keeps my eyes rolling is: “How long are you going to stay?” or “So, you’re back?”. I feel like John sometimes:

I will close the travel journal with some impressions from the Bavarian forest, where I had the pleasure of spending some sunny days this week.

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If you want to know what is going on in my future…subscribe to the newsletter and I will let you know once I am there 😉

Love,
Matthias

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Rumi