I’m back in Spain. Since also here I wanted to drive alongside the coast my path lead me from Portugals west coast to Gijon. From there it goes in direction of my old adopted home Hondarribia.
I have seen beautiful landscapes but I am not able to enjoy it as much as it deserves to. I feel too much sadness in order to let the beauty in. I’m in a very strange period of my life. I am stumbling. Third year in a pain like I am feeling now costs me all my strength and I am getting tired of it. I know that it (I!) cannot go on like the last years and also not how I thought still a couple of months ago. I HAVE TO CHANGE.
But I have no idea how to get to the desired state in the 3 key areas I see right now:
- Love/relationship (someone to share my life with)
- Home (English is a poor language. In German “Heimat” means a place where you feel home/rooted)
- Occupation (something to do)
Many times I feel despair that nothing will work out since I have no clue. That the security of the past is gone and not replaced by something new. Then I have to work on my trust, the trust that some force will help me reaching those “goals”.
In the last Akasha Records reading Carolin selected 2 cards for me upfront:
Let go:
“She will help you drop your fear-based shields and move into a loving, protective force-field that will keep you safe but will allow your gifts to shine out”More:
“Claim back your powers. You need to do some release work with your lack of trust in the spiritual energies that are guiding you” I guess I have to work on my limiting believes about love. Those are mine (there are probably more):
- I don’t believe in eternal love
- My relationships only last 1 – 1.5 years
- I cannot hold a happy relationship
- My soul mate is not incarnated at this time
- I don’t deserve love / to be loved
- My partners are better off without me
- I’m a better friend than partner
These are based on experience but you have to keep in mind what I wrote last time about the law of attraction. As long as I believe these things I will attract exactly that. I do not want that anymore. I need to let them go in order to be able to encounter a love and relationship that I really want. A love that is unconditional and a relationship that “works”.
The last love I experienced was of a special kind. It was an unconditional love. However, it didn’t prevent me from losing it but it will be a lighthouse for the future and I will know when life grants me this again. I’m eternally grateful to Susana for showing me how unconditional love feels like. And I am still learning from this experience how to give such a love. I trust in the universe for letting me experience this kind of love again in some future. However, now is the time to grief about what I lost and find a way back to my center. Anything else is not realistic.
All those things are part of “letting go”. A process that is very painful for me due to my attachments. For christ sake, I already have problems saying goodbyes after vacations.
I found some condolence in the following words and I’m going to pass on a message about “letting go” that came from the masters of the Akasha Records (AR) through the medium Carolin (C):
C: Master and teacher, what does “letting go” mean to you?
Return to the core.
My child, you (plural) have misunderstood this. It is not about giving away what you are attached to, in which all your heart and soul pulsates, so that it tears your heart apart. That too may happen sometimes when you are overly attached.
Rather, letting go is returning to your own essence’ core, into your own center.
When you regain your strength like the tree its sap in autumn, then what is no longer useful to you falls away. Then what is subject to the cycle of becoming and passing away falls away. Then what no longer nourishes you in the future falls away.
Trust it. Trust us. Trust yourself and your heart’s strength.
C: How does letting go feel in your sense?
(In response, these sensations awakened in Carolin…might be different for each of us)
My arms are getting heavy, but my heart is beating very strongly. Powerful and full of joy.
And I really feel like going forward. To start something new. Curiosity. Anticipation. Excitement. The impulse to GO!
Since I think it’s a really beautiful definition I also include the German text for my German friends:
Frage: Meister und Lehrer, was bedeutet „Loslassen“ für euch?
Zum Kern zurückkehren.
Mein Kind, ihr habt das missverstanden. Es geht nicht darum, das wegzugeben, an dem ihr hängt, in dem euer Herzblut pulsiert, so dass es euch das Herz zerreißt. Auch das mag manchmal geschehen, wenn ihr allzu verhaftet seid.
Vielmehr ist Loslassen das Zurückkehren zu eurem eigenen Wesenkern, in eure eigene Mitte.
Wenn ihr eure Kräfte wieder zu euch nehmt wie der Baum seine Säfte im Herbst, dann fällt ab, was euch nicht mehr dienlich ist. Dann fällt ab, was dem Zyklus des Werdens & Vergehens unterworfen ist. Dann fällt ab, was euch in Zukunft nicht mehr nährt.
Vertraue darauf. Vertraue uns. Vertraue dir und deiner Herzenskraft.
Frage: Wie fühlt sich Loslassen in eurem Sinne an?
Als Antwort werden in mir diese Empfindungen wach:
Mir werden die Arme schwer, aber das Herz klopft ganz stark. Kraftvoll und voller Freude.
Und ich bekomme wirklich LUST, vorwärts zu gehen. Neues zu beginnen. Neugierde. Vorfreude. Aufregung. Der Impuls zum LOSGEHEN!
If you want to work on attachments and cleaning energetical connections (we are all energy beings after all…look for quantum physics for explanation) there is an interesting exercise for this, which was created by Jacques Martel.
I found only this video in English.
For the German readers I can recommend this one.
Love,
Matthias